The New Political Update or: Planet Janet and the Reno Invaders!!
By Mike Jacobson
Have you heard of the V-chip yet? Oh well, I’ll tell you about it anyway. It’s this new device that parents can have installed in their TV, (for the incredible low price of only, oh, 5 trillion bucks) to regulate the amount of violent programming that their child sees. This better mousetrap was extracted from the repulsively mainstream mind of….who else but Janet Reno and associates!
I’ve got a tad bit better idea. Turn the damn thing off! Neglecting your kids by plopping them in front of the idiot box and detaching them for a while is how they become violent. You want to know why violence is so damn popular? It’s hands down the most effective form of attention getter there is.
One day, there will be a place called Planet Janet. She’ll have her own race and her own civilization, along with her own society. I’ll be content just to sit on my own roof with a pair of binoculars in hand, my wife by my side, my kids resting peacefully in bed, and celebrate as we watch this planet of robots and warmongers quickly blow itself to smithereens.